end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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