she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
