Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
