we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
