what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
