margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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