perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
