Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
