Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
