I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
