Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize