But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
