Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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