Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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