I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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