so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
