Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude i'm inner monologue high
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
