I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
