one might say we're banned from that church
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
