when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
