I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
