I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
