Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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