Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
