So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
