I'm really into asian looking animals
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
