So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
