You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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