My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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