I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
