I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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