I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
