u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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