The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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