Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
