I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
