I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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