Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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