I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
