Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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