He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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