Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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