so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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