We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
