On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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