Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
