SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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