Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my shit smells like andre
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
