We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this hospital has no fireball
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My vagina is officially offended.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
