ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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