I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
