so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
