i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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