John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
