He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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