on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
