Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
