he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
