Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize