talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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