I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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