you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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